3 Steps To Re-Align With Your Confidence And Capability

3 Steps To;

Re-align With Your Confidence and Capability

Self Doubt, Self Criticism, Overwhelm, Stress, Anxiety, Self Sabotage…..these are just some indications that you are experiencing a disconnect from your innate resources and capabilities.

Have you heard the saying;  ‘Whether you think you can or you think cant you are right’ – Henry Ford

Unfortunately many people believe they can’t.

You can probably resonate with the occasional thought that you are not good enough, or that you cant do it, or that you cant cope . Or maybe you focus on the fear of ‘what if’….And yes we are all guilty of a little self doubt or self criticism sometimes ,but if this becomes a pattern it can result in overwhelm, stress, anxiety, self sabotage.

Believing in yourself, staying connected to your authentic self and creating a positive mindset is crucial to the success and joy you can achieve in all areas of your life –  your happiness, your professional life , your health, your relationships.

What you tell your self affects how you feel and how you behave. So lets shift your focus to what you want to achieve , here’s how;

(If you are in doubt that it is possible to change how you think I invite you to read on and give it a try and if you need scientific proof you can read the science bit later in the report.)

Based on the Growth Mindset and NLP principles, I have put together 3 simple steps to guide you to focus for success.

The 3 Steps; 

1.Focus on what you want to achieve

2.Deal with limiting beliefs, fears and negative thoughts

3.Step into your powerful positive resources….your authentic self.

Let me take you through these 3 steps with some  simple practical guidance so you can create your positive mindset for any situation. These can be really useful for goal setting, and you can really create momentum with use of a vision board.

You can also use these steps in the moment as a quick thought process management tool.


1.Focus on what you want to achieve

My private 1:1 coaching clients will tell you that this is my mantra. We are all very good at knowing what we don’t want and what we wish to avoid. However the skill is in focusing on what you do want. If you are Focusing on what you want, you cannot focus on what you don’t want!

Grab a pen and paper and ask yourself these questions;

  • -What do I want to achieve? (be specific about your goal or specific event
  • -Why is this important to me?…Why else ?…How will it feel to get it?…What will it look like?…What will it bring to my life?
  • -What skill, ability, knowledge do I have to enable me to achieve this? (stated in the positive)
  • -What other resources do I need to help me to achieve this? (keep this to hand as you will need it at step 3


  • 2.Deal with Limiting Beliefs.
  • Did you know that even your limiting beliefs, fears and negative thoughts have a positive intention. Probably to protect you. However the reality is that the issue you are presented with is unlikely to pose any real risk or be life threatening (even though you can successfully create a real feeling of fear with your own mind! Right?).

So here is what to do;

  • Stop and Listen to the negative thought. Acknowledge the negative feeling.
  • Ask yourself –

-Is this thought true?

-Is this fear real?

-Is there is a real and imminent danger? (the answer is usually No – if it is yes then you probably need to run!)

  • Thank your unconscious mind for the warning and let go of the resistance.
  • Take your focus back to Focus on what you want to achieve.

3.Step into your powerful positive resources.

  • -Remember now what you created at step 1;

What you want to achieve,

Why this is important to you,

Your positive skills, abilities, knowledge,

Other resources available to you

  • -Close your eyes and feel what this resourceful person with a clear purpose and vision for success feels like and see what this successful outcome looks like.
  • -Create your positive affirmation (you can create your own) and say it aloud

 ‘I am a confident capable person with all the resources I need to ……..’

When you practice;

  • Focusing on the positive outcome you want to achieve,
  • Reminding yourself of the capable person you are,
  • Being brave enough to decide you can do it,

….this will enable you to prove to yourself that you are capable and it will create new neural pathways in your brain that with habitual practice will benable you to think and feel this way.

Use your mind and your imagination, your emotion in your body, your connection to your innate capability to create your focus for joy and success.

The benefits;

Research into developing your growth or positive mindset shows that you can

  • Create greater clarity and purpose
  • Improve your ability
  • Improve your Motivation and productivity
  • Increase your self esteem and confidence
  • Be more Resilient
  • Gain Control of your thoughts and emotions
  • Act with more Courage
  • Create success
  • Prevent and recovery from illness

Believing in yourself, staying connected to your authentic self and creating a positive mindset could just be the most important thing you can do to improve all aspects of your life and success.

Positive thinking is very beneficial for our mental health primarily because it eliminates any form of paranoia and negative thoughts that can cause depression and stress. The process is actually a domino effect in terms of our overall health. Those who think positively feel happier and more contented with their lives.’  –

The Science Bit

 Did you know that your mindset is made up of your assumptions and your own personal world view.

What you think, believe and experience is unique to you.

Your own values, beliefs and memories are the filter by which you perceive and then think about the information you see or hear. This affects your emotions and your behaviour.

I am a Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) which was created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. It is a methodology to understand and change human behaviour-patterns. Its amazing!

It is about the language of the mind and the tools and techniques you can use to control your mind, emotions and life experience.

And here is the science bit – the brain is always changing and you can re-wire your brain and create new neural pathways. Its called Neuroplasticity.

So by creating the Mindset and Habit of using the 3 steps to Focus for Success you can start to rewire your brain ;

  1. Focus on what you want to achieve
  2. Deal with limiting beliefs, fears and negative thoughts
  3. Step into your powerful positive resources.

Remember that saying at the beginning of the blog – ‘if you think you can or if you think you cant you are right….”

  • Practice focusing on what you want to achieve
  • Open your mind to opportunity
  • Look for solutions to any hurdles
  • Becurious instead of afraid
  • Know that you are enough, and that your authentic self has a purpose and innate capability.

Carol Dweck the Lewis and Virginia Eaton Professor of Psychology at Stanford University studied and researched the simple idea of Mindset. Her research refers to ‘Fixed Mindset’ and ‘Growth Mindset’. Her research (Growth Mindset) demonstrates the power of believing that you can improve.

‘In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities.’

My focus as a coach is to enable you to create the mindset and habits to improve your life and to support you to re-align with your authentic self. You can learn to take control of your mind, your actions and your re-actions. It will take practice. Create the habit every day and enjoy the benefits it brings.

Don’t delay, start today.

Lots of Love,

Jo Black

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